The Blue Room

We have a blue room in our house. We actually have two blue rooms in our house now because I convinced my sweet husband to redecorate our bedroom that we never got around to decorating when we moved in two years ago. But we have one blue room in the house that is sitting empty.

In February we received news that there was a baby in Northwest Arkansas who needed a home. We immediately jumped at the opportunity to adopt and began preparing for our lives to change! I went into clean freak mode and spent all of spring break cleaning out every room in our house, throwing out junk, creating a garage sale pile, and joyfully making room for a baby boy to invade our world. In the midst of all this purging of unneeded stuff, I bombarded Pinterest searching for the perfect nursery theme. I pinned and pinned and pinned until I found the perfect wall color--Plumage. I know, I know. It sounds like a very stuffy purple color that your grandma would paint a room. However, it is actually a beautiful, deep teal that I just knew would be perfect for a nursery. I got it approved with my easy going husband and we set off painting!

Now, many people (including you) might say we were crazy for painting a room for a baby that we weren't even positive would come home with us. We still had two months until the baby was born and a lot could happen in two months. But even as we were painting, as I was rolling Plumage onto boring beige walls, I knew that God would be faithful. I even viewed it as a step of faith. My offering to the Lord that I trusted Him and would follow Him even in the small act of painting a room. We felt so accomplished when we were finished and so excited about filling this room with everything baby.

As it turned out, a lot did happen in those two months. The mother went into labor a month early and we spent three days in a mad dash to get anything and everything done that needed to be done to bring this baby home with us. But in the end, he didn't make that drive home down I40 with us. He stayed with his mother and we ventured home to an empty blue room.

I actually didn't even think about the room until much later the night we came home. Our sweet friends Courtney and Thomas came to see us and bring cookies of encouragement. As they were leaving, we stood in the entry way of our house which looks directly into the blue room. It took everything in me to not slam the door and sit down and cry the night away. After our friends left, Nathan gently closed the door, knowing it was what I needed at that moment.

The door to the blue room stayed closed for a few days, but eventually was opened as our lives carried on. For the first few weeks I would close it when people were coming over. I knew it would look weird when people walked in our front door and the first thing they saw was an empty blue room. I knew it wouldn't take more than ten second for the greeting to be filled with awkwardness and pity. And that's not what I wanted to experience.

As the months began to go by, as life carried on, as events went by that we had planned on doing with a baby in tow, I sought the Lord looking for answers. I never doubted that God was still in control. Even as we were told on April 13th that the mother was keeping the baby. We praised God for the opportunity and knew He was sovereign in all things. But you still wonder why. Why did every single tiny piece of the puzzle wonderfully fall into place except for that very last piece? Why did we spend two months running around like chickens with our heads cut off to meet deadlines and complete paperwork and prepare a nursery? Why did we go to all of the trouble of painting a room plumage, only for it to sit empty?

I've realized that I will never understand all of the reasons why, but the Lord is daily filling my heart with peace as He shows me little by little why He chose to do what He did with us. And the biggest reason He's revealed to us so far is that He was teaching us the reality and the meaning behind words we have known forever, but never deeply experienced:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."  -Romans 8:28

This is a verse that so many of us, as believers, memorize early on and cling to in times of trouble. I've encouraged many people with it in the past and I'm sure you have too. But like so many scriptures that we read and think we know and understand, I don't think I ever truly read that verse with the bitter sweet understanding that Paul wrote it with. We are not promised "good things" in this verse. We are not promised good times, good circumstances, or good feelings. If anything, this verse has a way of reminding us that difficulty is real, struggle is inevitable, and heartbreak is oddly necessary. We see in this verse that not all things may be good, but all things work for good. Sometimes the things that God works for our good are actually very painful. Why is that?

To accomplish His purpose.

We've seen little things over the last five months that reveal God's hand in working for our good and His purpose. We've thanked Him for giving us three days with Nathan's family, who we don't get to see very often anymore. We've thanked Him for allowing us to get our feet wet in the process of adoption as preparation for the future. We've praised Him that there is one less orphan in the world because a mother decided to keep her child. We've been amazed at the friendships He's brought to us through our journey. But I've also rejoiced and lived in awe of God revealing to me my very specific role in this baby's life: For 3 days, I got to be this baby's "mother through a window".

During those three days that we spent in Northwest Arkansas, we visited the hospital several times as we met with the lawyers and waited to find out what was next. While we were there, I took up my post at the viewing window, staring at the bundle of baby wrapped so tight on the other side of the glass. I watched the nurse give him a bath, comb his hair, dress him, wrap him up, and lay him in the bassinet to go to sleep. I watched Him stretch his hands and cry a few times. I watched him lay there all by himself with no one to hold him or gawk over him. I felt angry and protective of him because he had no one in the world to love him at the moment. He was in limbo--waiting for a decision to be made about who he would grow up to be. When we found out that his mother was going to keep him, one of my first feelings was anger that she had left him in that nursery for three days by himself. With no one to rock him or hold him or love him. That bothered me for several weeks until one day God slapped me in the face and put my anger to shame. He made it very clear to me that this sweet baby boy wasn't alone for three days with no one to love him. Not only was the Lord right there with him, but so were two other people (along with a host of grandparents and two unimaginably patient lawyers) that were specifically placed in this baby's path to love him and care for him during the time that his mother was faced with a life changing decision and unable to physically care for him. For three days God allowed me to love a baby through a window until he could be fully cared for by his mother. That was my purpose. This baby will never know me, nor will his mother, but God worked all things for my good, their good, and His purpose.

So the blue room still stands in our house. It is still empty, but it is full of meaning and purpose. It stands as a reminder for us that God is using all things for our good. Not to make us happy, not to make us live an easy life, and certainly not to give us all that we want. But to be become like Him in our sufferings and fulfill His purpose that leads us to Him.

The trials and struggles that we face in life are all different. Many of you have been through pain way worse than I could ever imagine and situations far more difficult than I've ever experienced. But we all have blue rooms. Blue rooms that remind us of what we think "could have been" or "should have been." Blue rooms that ask "why?"But praise Jesus that our hope does not rest in the trials of these blue rooms! Our hope firmly rests in Christ's sacrifice, resurrection, and promise of a future eternal life with Him. 

Adoption

To say that the past 60 hours of our lives have been the craziest, most up and down, roller coaster like hours of our lives is a major understatement. As many of you know, Nathan and I have been going through the process of possibly adopting a baby boy for the past month. This was not something we had pursued and found, but something that had been dropped into our laps as a blessing from the Lord. We announced this possibility to everyone in hopes that our closest friends and family would lift us, the mother, and the baby up in prayer as we proceeded in the process. We knew there could be the possibility of announcing this huge, exciting time in our lives to everyone only to come back and  announce that it did not work out as we had hoped. And we are sad to announce that that is what we are having to do.

Thursday morning we received a call around 9:30 that the mother had gone into labor 4 weeks early and was in the hospital. We immediately dropped everything, left work, and headed to meet our attorney. We spent the whole day waiting and waiting for some kind of news. News that we could go to the hospital, news that he was healthy, news that she had chosen a family for the baby. Any kind of news. Finally, at 6:10 the little guy made his appearance in the world! Even though he was 4 weeks early he was perfectly healthy and doing well! We were told that we would meet with the mother the next day, along with the other family interested in adopting this sweet boy (he was already very loved!), in hopes that she would be able to make a decision as soon as possible. To make a long story (with many twists and turns, ups and downs) short, the mother of the baby decided this afternoon that she wanted to keep him and raise him as her own.

Obviously this was heartbreaking news to hear. We have prayed for this mother and her baby for over a month now. We have come to know and love them in our hearts, even though we never had the opportunity of meeting either one of them in person. Our hearts ache at the loss of a child we never knew or held. But our hearts are full of joy, hope, and promise all at the same time.

We have stood on one firm and solid truth throughout every step of every day of this process: God alone knows what is best for this baby, this mother, us, and Himself. We knew and held firm to the fact that God would do what He saw best fit for all involved and most glorifying to Himself. We knew that this was a possibility. We knew that God did not owe us anything and neither did this mother. We have known that the road of adoption would not be an easy, clean-cut, perfect little garden full of daisies and butterflies. So today, and ever since Thursday, we have received the pieces of sad news with hope and faith. We trust and know that God knew His plans for this baby before we ever knew about him. He knew that he would never be ours and that he would find his home with his biological mother. He knew that He would lead us until it was time to stop and wait for whatever He has next for us. And we rest in knowing that He isn't finished with us and our adoption journey. With joyful hearts we look forward to all that the Lord has planned for us.

We want to thank each and every one of you for your kind words, love, encouragement, prayers, and cheers. You have loved us and supported us through these exciting days and we will be forever grateful for that. We do ask that you would continue to pray for this baby and his mother. That the Lord would guide them, comfort them, and lead them to Him in all that they do.

"Sovereign Lord, You alone know." --Ezekiel 37:3

Favorite Recipes

So we are 13 days into the New Year and I just can't even believe it! 2012 flew by so quickly and was full of so many blessings! We are eagerly looking forward to all that is to come in 2013!

I don't know about you guys, but the Brewers are already right in the middle of busyness in this New Year. There's always something going on just about every night of the week. So, in all of our busyness, I've spent the last few months looking for dependable, quick, easy, and yummy recipes to use through our busy weeks that won't just add to the stress. Some have been flops, but others have been great! So, in hopes of helping your busy lives, here are a few links to some of my favorites these days!

1. The biggest staple in the Brewer house is my Cheesy Chicken recipe! Nathan is so picky, but loves this and always suggests that it be our meal at least 3 out of 5 days a week (don't worry, I don't give in!). You can find the recipe here!

2. Our newest fav is this amazing Potato Soup! Cara Carroll is amazing and one of my favorite bloggers. She is super mom, super teacher, super crafter, and super chef! This Potato soup is absolutely fabulous and so easy to make! You can do it in the crock pot or on the stove top. I made it on the stove top one night and it only took about an hour! You just throw everything in the pot except for the cream cheese. Right before serving, place the cream cheese in a bowl and ladle one to two spoonfuls of soup onto it. Mix together until cream cheese is melted and THEN add to the large pot of soup. We had so much left over that I was able to freeze it and have it for three more lunches and one more dinner for both of us. It even heated up well! You would love this in these winter months! :)

3. Another new hit that we just tried this week is the recipe for Chicken Alfredo Roll Ups. Nathan loves anything with cheese and noodles, so I knew he would love this. The best part of this recipe is the homemade alfredo sauce. Now, I will say that this recipe was a little more time consuming if you make the homemade sauce (which I recommend), but it's definitely worth it!

4. If you are a crock pot lover, you would love this Slow Cooker Salsa Chicken. A friend of mine gave me this recipe after my many failed attempts to make crock pot dinners. I just happened to find the same recipe on another blog the same week. I'm awful with crock pot meals and I'm not sure why. However, this one was a success! I loved it fresh and even warmed up for lunch!

5. This Cheesy Bean Dip recipe was just shown to me on Friday! Our assistant principal made this for us at a meeting and I was just amazed at the taste! It is definitely the best dip I've ever had and so easy to make! It's about to go into the oven for small group tonight!

6. I've been trying to find some good breakfast recipes that can be made in advance so that I'm not rushing around in the mornings. Nathan has also started eating breakfast more often and I've been able to broaden his horizons with some new foods that he doesn't usually try! This Banana Oatmeal Muffin recipe is a great breakfast on the go and is very healthy! My favorite part about these is that they aren't grainy--my sweet picky husband doesn't like grainy textures, so the blended up oatmeal is hidden! I just made this today and definitely like the simple recipe, the simple prep (all thrown into a blender and poured into a cupcake pan!), and the great taste! I will be interested to try the recipe with other types of fruit over the next few weeks! 

I hope some of these help in your busy lives! Except for my Cheesy Chicken Recipe, they are all from blogs I have found on Pinterest, so all credit goes to the amazing bloggers for their help in making my life a little bit easier! :)

Getaway to Wisconsin!

So back at the end of October I took a long awaited trip to Wisconsin to visit one of my sweetest friends, Kinsey. Kinsey and I have been friends since the 6th grade and have many memories together.

8th grade flashback! My how young we were!

When we graduated from high school, I stayed here in Conway and she, being the adventurous one, traveled to Appleton, Wisconsin to pursue her dream of studying music. I am amazed when I think about how that was over four years ago now. Time has flown so quickly! Anyways, I always told Kinsey that I wanted to visit her and experience a new part of the country, but of course life got busy for both of us and it never happened. Even thousands of miles away, Kinsey has remained one of my closest friends. She's always been one of those friends that you can just pick up with right where you left off! So after one of our long catch up phone calls back in September, we decided to finally make this trip happen! I set out on Halloween and made my way to the Midwest, which I really just consider the north! :) I spent 4 days with Kinsey and got to see Appleton, as well as Chicago! It was so fun to see where she has lived, meet her friends, and experience something way different from little Conway, Arkansas. I've been meaning to post these pictures since I got back, but of course life has been busy, busy, busy! So here goes!

I have to say spending several hours in the sky that day traveling to Appleton was some of the most relaxing, joyous time I had had in a while! Lauren Chandler's EP had just come out that week and it was definitely one of the coolest things to be flying so high and listening to her version of "The Sparrow."

About to land in Appleton! I loved flying over Lake Michigan and seeing all of the landscapes!

The amazing house Kinsey lives in right by a river.

The amazing view from behind Kinsey's house!

Another shot of the river. I couldn't get enough of the fall foliage!

All of the houses were so pretty an unique!

On Thursday we drove to Chicago for my first visit ever!

Coming up on the city!

Of course we had to go see the Bean! The first grade teacher in me wondered how many germs were on that thing :)

A beautiful Cathedral that we went into to look around!

We happened upon an art gallery that had a whole section of Dr. Seuss artwork! Made me miss my babies!

Beautiful view in the middle of downtown Chicago after doing a little shopping!

After sight seeing for a little while we went and walked through the Art Institute. As we were walking in a couple walking out handed us their tickets and said they were good for the rest of the day! We were so excited that those sweet people saved us over $30.

One of my favorites from the gallery.

Chicago at night.

Beautiful!

We met up for dinner with some of Kinsey's friends from college. Hanging out in Chicago at night with people who really know the city made me feel 13! This small town girl had to keep up with them!

We spent the night in Chicago with one of Kinsey's friends and woke up the next morning to head back to Appleton. Before we left we stopped at the cutest little diner with amazing food!

Yum!

On our way out we stopped by Northwestern University to see the amazing view of the city next to Lake Michigan.

On our way back we had to stop at THE Mars Cheese Castle! The inner tourist in us came out for sure.

It's really a castle on the side of the interstate that just sells every kind of cheese you can imagine!

Ya gotta try the cheese head while you're in Wisconsin!

The rest of the weekend was spent at Lawrence, Kinsey's school. It was their annual Jazz Festival weekend, so we went to two great performances that really broadened my horizons. Kinsey has always been the one to help in that area of my life!

My last night in Appleton we went and tried out the Melting Pot for dessert. Oh. My. Word. Talk about amazing!! Absolutely heaven!

Sunday at the airport before I flew home!

I am so glad that I was able to spend so much time with Kinsey in Wisconsin. It was definitely hard being away from my normal daily life and my husband and my kiddos, but it was time well spent with a good friend. I am so proud of Kinsey for following her dreams and not settling for less than her best. She has worked so hard in the past four years and I know that she will do great things with her talents and abilities! She will be going to grad school soon and I am excited to see where she ends up so that I can start planning my next trip :)

ObSEUSSed with First Grade!

Summer is gone and school is here! I am blown away that it is already the last Friday night before school starts!! It has been a whirlwind of activity in the Brewer house over the last few weeks. We spent all last week in Dallas preparing for my brother's wedding. It was a great week that ended with a beautiful wedding!! I did tease Taylor that he chose an awful week to get married: right in the middle of the Olympics and the weekend before I had to go back to school :)

I had started working on my classroom in early July because I knew I would be gone all last week. However, I took my time and probably left too many things to do the week of orientation! I spent an 11 hour day in the classroom on Monday and several more hours Tuesday afternoon before orientation! But all of the work was worth the outcome! I have to say I am SO excited about my room this year! With last year being my first year to teach, I literally just stared at the walls for so long, not knowing what to do. This year was totally different! I was able to quickly move things around and visualize what I could do with each piece. So, welcome to my classroom, where we will spend the year "ObSEUSSed with First Grade!"

Welcome to Mrs. Brewer's Room! The inspiration for my room comes from my favorite Dr. Seuss book, Hooray for Diffendoofer Day!! If you've never read it you absolutely should!

I didn't have room for this Daily Schedule pocket chart in the room this year, so I moved it out to the hallway! Mrs. Tonya Hammontree also made me the adorable crayon wreath for Christmas last year and I LOVE having it on my door!

My birthday chart is directly to the left when you walk in the room. Every month I like to write the birthday kids' names and dates on the balloons so they feel a little more special all month long!

This is my outstanding work corner that is right next to the birthday chart. The Cat in the Hat hats have clips hanging from them where I will hang up outstanding student work each week. This is probably one of my favorite spots in the room!

I LOVE my listening center!! Well, I love the new table and chairs! I saw these at Ikea in Dallas over spring break and fell in love! I've kept them close in my mind ever since and made sure I had the chance to run to Ikea during Taylor's wedding week to grab them for this school year! I wish I was small enough to enjoy them like my students!

In order to use the space in my room in the best way, I moved my writing center over to this area this year and I can't wait to get charts up over here! I got the adorable Writer's Eye pieces either from Cara or Amy last year. I can't remember which one it was, but both of them have amazing blogs and would recognize many things in my classroom as their own creations :) There are more small anchor charts that will be added to the writer's eye wall as we learn about them in class!

Motivation, encouragement, and uplifting words were so critical with the group of kids I had last year. I know every group of students is different, but I'm pretty positive that the need for recognition and motivation is absolutely necessary for all of them. So, every week I choose a student who worked hard, even if it was for a small amount of time, to take Cat in the Hat home for the weekend! Of course this has been done for years and years and is pretty old school, but I still remember getting to take our class bear home in first grade, so I know my kids enjoy the memory too!

Cubbies with book baskets ready to go! I was so super excited to find this baskets at Wal-mart. They came in a pack of 3 for 3.99. They were a little more expensive than the buckets from the dollar bins at Target, but are very sturdy, they match, and fit perfectly in the cubbies.

And of course you cannot have a Dr. Seuss themed room without Trufula trees!! I couldn't pass these up and loved how easy they were to make! The best tutorial I found for tissue paper poms was at Kasey's blog. It was very simple and I was easily able to attach the tissue poms to the top of the pool noodles with straight pins to make a truffula tree!

Another view of the truffula trees and part of the classroom library.

Here is a view of the room from the door. This was the day of orientation, so all of the paperwork is out on the desks that won't be there when the kids come! 

Speaking of orientation night, I made these little "Welcome to First Grade" treat bags for my kids to have at orientation. One of my professors showed us an example of something similar back in college, so I did some searching last year and put this together. Each piece has a meaning that is explained on the card. Hopefully they felt welcome :)

Here is a view of the front of the room. Of course, Dr. Seuss always rhymes, so I try to make the names of every area of the room rhyme! The Math Bath is my daily math review activities. Underneath the Smart Board are the "We Spell Well!" charts for spelling and sight words. 

My favorite part of this board has to be the scrunched border! I saw this on pinterest this summer and had to try it! It was pretty tedious at first, but got better as I went. I finished this board and was so exhausted and thought I would never do it again. But I ended up doing several other scrunched borders in the room and hallway! It was just too cute! Laura's blog has a pretty good tutorial you could check out for this border. I wasn't very structured with it, I just wadded it up and stapled!

Another rhyming area in the room! This is my word wall where sight words will be added each week. I kind of cheated with this one this year. I spent so much time putting this thing up last year, only to have to take it down at the end of school for paint touch ups. Instead of starting from scratch I folded it up carefully and put it in my closet in hopes that I could just put it back on the wall in one piece. It worked pretty well going back up, but it is pretty wrinkled in spots. At this point, I can handle a few wrinkles :)

This wall has taken on some new changes this year that I am so excited about! Last year I used this wall for writing charts and displaying detailed writing. This year I am really focusing on vocabulary, so this wall says: "Oh! The Places You'll Go...And the Words You'll Know!" I'm going to be picking words out of read alouds to teach as new vocabulary words. After reading, we will put a copy of the book cover and the word on the wall to help remember the meaning of the new word! 

To encourage the kids to actually use the new vocabulary words that we will be studying, I put a "Sparkling Speakers" chart next to the vocab wall. When the other kids or I hear someone use one of our studied vocab words in conversation, they will be able to add a sticker next to their name and write their sentence on a conversation bubble. We will set goals and when the kids meet their word goals there will be a fun prize that I have yet to come up with :)

I spent a lot of my summer learning how to use my sewing machine. I got it for Christmas and just never had time to learn until school was out! However, once summer hit, I was pretty productive! I made some Dr. Seuss curtains to cover my shelves and add some color to the room!

Before the curtains came to the room...

And after!

You can tell these pictures were taken before the rooms was decorated :)

I also made smaller curtains to cover the openings on the other side of the room.

I loved the fabric of those curtains so much that I had to use the left over material to cover anything else I could! I got this rolly chair from a friend and covered it to use at my reading group table.

Crate seats were another task on my summer to-do list. Thankfully my brother is very handy with cutting wood and I am handy with a staple gun :) I'm also doubling these crates as storage bins for my class set of clipboards.

Isn't this fabric just adorable? My mom found it online for me for Christmas because she knew I was wanting to make curtains eventually. I'm not sure what website she got it from, but you could probably find it easily!

So there is my Seussed out room! My kiddos could possibly be way over-stimulated when they walk in and see all of the color in the room, but hopefully they will feel welcome and relaxed! I can't wait to get my little first graders in there and start learning! I know it will be a wonderful year for all of us!