1st Grade Theology

I learned last spring while I was student teaching that there would be many lessons that God would reveal to me through the little lives that He put in my classroom every day. I suppose that since Jesus delighted in children so much in the Bible that often times He chooses to teach me through them instead of teaching them through me. I absolutely love the children God has placed in my classroom this year. I have had a few come and a few go, but as of right now I have 22 students--16 boys and 6 girls. Yes, I (and my 6 sweet girls) covet your prayers on a daily basis :)

With the boy to girl ratio in my classroom, there is NEVER a dull moment. Someone always has a story to tell, an illness that needs to be cured, a booboo from getting hit, a joke to tell, a fight to be settled, a shoe that needs to be tied, a question to be asked, and the list goes on and on. I come home every day with a thousand stories to tell Nathan and he always knows which kids to ask me about, knowing that they had to have done something interesting that day. I love it.

Many of the lessons God has already taught me through these 6 and 7 year olds have been straight-forward, black and white, convicting lessons. To have such sweet little children be the vessel through which He teaches me makes it even clearer when He's trying to get my attention. Though I have felt guilty at times by the realization of areas that need to be changed, it is always refreshing and I am always so thankful that God is using these kids in my life way more than He's using me in their lives. So at the end of the day, I usually feel very at peace with what I've seen and learned.

However, yesterday was a bit of a different story. We were pushing chairs in, putting backpacks on, chatting about the weekend, and lining up to go home when I remembered I needed to grab something off of my desk. Everyone was lined up at the door and as I turned around and walked back to my desk, I noticed one of my adorable students standing behind my desk. I gave the child a smile and a funny look and said,"What are you doing over there?" No response. I walked closer and asked again. Still no response, but this time there was a bug-eyed smile. I repeated the question again and in response she held up her backpack. As the backpack was being held up, I caught a glimpse of a page of stickers in the other hand. At just that moment the stickers fell to the ground and the she continued holding the backpack in the air. I walked around this very guilty looking child, knowing what had happened. I sat down in my chair and picked the stickers up off of the floor. I looked into her big blue eyes and asked, "Where did these stickers come from?" Silence. So, I proceeded to spend 3 or 4 minutes asking many questions like, "How did these stickers get out of my drawer?" and "Why were you behind my desk?". (The kids know that they have their space and I have my space and that they are not allowed to be behind my desk without permission.) I continued to question her in a very tender and calm way, hoping that she would see that I was not angry or mad, but only looking for the truth. I was very kind in the way I approached her and reminded her that admitting what she did and being honest is always better than not telling the truth. She began to cry and repeat over and over "I didn't do it!" And that's when my heart sunk. My eyes filled with tears. If it wasn't for the fact that she had to be on the bus in 3 minutes, I would have cried with her.

My heart sunk and I wanted to cry my eyes out because I realized in that moment that this sweet little girl had sinned. Now, please don't think I am being extreme here; I do have a point. This little girl had taken a page of stickers out of my drawer without permission and then proceeded to lie about it. I tried to be so graceful in talking with her hoping that she would see that the truth is always better than a lie. However, she didn't. She didn't want to admit she was wrong because she knew there were consequences coming. In that moment, as I stared into her eyes and saw how hard she was trying to hold on to innocence and convince me she hadn't done anything wrong, I was heartbroken because I was reminded of the depravity in which we are when we don't know Jesus.

The Bible is full of scripture that reminds us of what we are without Christ:

"Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me." Psalm 51:5

"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature." -Romans 8:18

"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is not at work in those who are disobedient." -Ephesians 2:1-2

"There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God." Romans 3:10-11

"...For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

We were born into sin. We are sinful people by nature. We are dead in our sins and transgressions. We live in darkness. We are lost. We are lonely. We are in need. And that need is for forgiveness that only comes through a Savior. What struck me during this conversation with my unswerving student was that before we can be forgiven, before we can be healed, before we can be renewed and given new life, we have to acknowledge our need. My sweet little girl could not come to grips with her mistake. She didn't want to acknowledge what she had done for many different reasons. It broke my heart because she didn't see her fault. She didn't see her need. But I did. I saw her mistake. I saw her need. And I couldn't do anything about it. I was helpless before her because in that moment, nothing I could have said would have convinced her that the truth was better.

24 hours later I am still thinking about her and the stickers. Not because the stickers were a big deal, but because I want her to know Jesus. After telling Nathan the story last night, we talked about what it will be like one day when our own children make mistakes. When they steal, tell a lie, or sin in some other way. When we sit down to talk about what they've done, they will most likely deny their failures at least once, if not many, many times. How painful will it be to sit and look into their eyes and know that they don't see their sin. They don't see their need. And know at the same time, we cannot convince them. Only God can change their hearts.

So, what has God shown me through this day in the classroom? Pray, pray, pray for the kids in my class. I want them to know Jesus so badly. Pray for my own children that I don't even have yet. That God would work in their lives every day, even as they are young children figuring out right and wrong. Lead my children by example. When I am caught in sin and I continue in sin without acknowledging where I have gone wrong, my kids will learn from me and do the same. I pray even now that the Holy Spirit would give me grace to confess my sins and run away from them in order to seek Jesus. He is light. He is life. He is truth. He is better.

Your Spiritual Act of Worship

I absolutely love to blog. However, I rarely make time to sit down and do it! I'm hoping that with this New Year MAYBE I'll get better at it :)

My heart is full. God has blessed and is still blessing daily. Nathan and I had an amazing first Christmas together and are so thankful that we were able to visit all of our family over the break. With the holidays over, excitement is building for the coming days! We are thrilled about this new season that God is carrying us into and cannot wait to see where 2012 leads!

2012 has already brought many changes around the Brewer home. School has begun for Nathan, I am knee deep into teaching my kiddos, and we have begun our ministry at Conway's First Baptist Church. Nathan is the new worship leader for The Burn, FBC's youth, and Thrive, a new contemporary service on Sunday mornings. Change is hard sometimes, but it can also be full of unbelievable joy and peace. I am so thankful for the way God has provided for us in this new transition. We miss our church family at Antioch, but God has stepped in and allowed us to already begin building strong relationships in our new home. I am amazed every day at His provision and plan.

Along with feeling overwhelmed with blessings over the past month, I have also been wrapped up in many thoughts. A few weeks ago I came upon a few verses in Romans that set me back and humbled me. They looked straight at  me and bombarded my pride. They set straight any thought that believed I had control of my life. They clearly revealed pieces of God's character that I tend to overlook at times.

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgements, and his paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been His counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay Him? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen." --Romans 11:33-36

There is so much power in these words! Even while I was writing them and thinking about their depth and power, I was struck with a fear that only Satan could have been behind. This Word is so living and active that just by reading it and proclaiming it, Satan is threatened. Praise God for His victorious Word that helps us in our times of weakness and battle!

These four verses encompass the most amazing traits of God. He is beyond understanding in ways--His understanding has no end and His ways are beyond our understanding because He sees all! He is the God who sees us right where we are at any given moment, but He is also the God who knows what is to come like He knows what happened yesterday. No one has or ever will be enough for God--He needs no completion. He is all complete, filled, and whole. And the most amazing part to me that leaves me in awe is that EVERYTHING is from Him, EVERYTHING comes through Him, and EVERYTHING is to Him. Nothing that is or happens or exists is unknown to Him. Everything, every little detail is to honor and glorify Him. This includes the little things that we may not consider spiritual, as well as difficult and challenging things that cause many critics of God Most High to ask how a loving God could allow. Everything is for His glory, so that He may be known by all.

Many times in the Bible we see the word "therefore." I love this word. I am your typical Type A personality. I require direct instructions in order to follow a task. Any time we see "therefore" we know there are explicit instructions coming. This passage in Romans is no exception. Paul tells us and reminds us of God's sovereignty and His power above all. And then He comes in to tell us that BECAUSE OF the Way God reigns in our lives, there is something that we should do.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His good, pleasing, and perfect will." --Romans 12:1-2

These two verses are very well-known to many Christians. The challenge that these words present calls us to abandon the ways of this world, be transformed into Christ's likeness, and offer ourselves as sacrifices for God to use to bring His name glory. We know this challenge, but do we take in the full magnitude or just shrug it off? I realized that I had never read all six of these verses together at one time. When I did, it completely changed my view of this calling. Because of the abundant mercy that God has shown me, because of the grace He has poured out on me--not because I deserve it or because He needs me, but because He loves me and wants me--there is nothing else I can do but give myself completely to Him and say "yes" to Him. "Yes" to whatever it is He wants to do with me. This is so much easier said than done. It's so easy for me to say, "Yes Lord, use me and do whatever you want," but still live by my own ways. But this is where verse 2 comes in--"Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." This renewal comes only through time with Jesus every day, many times a day.

It was not coincidence that as God laid these verses on my heart and began opening my eyes to His will for me to lose more of me and gain all of Him that He was also having me read Kisses From Katie.

This book was written by a 23 year-old missionary in Uganda. Katie moved to Uganda right out of high school to serve and minister to the lowest of lows in Uganda. In the 4-5 years that she has been there she has started her own ministry called Amazima, which sponsors 400+ children, allowing them to have food, school supplies, school fees and basic necessities. She has had the opportunity to help feed 1,500+ people in a remote village that many people consider to be untouchables. In addition, she began a program within this village that allows for women to escape prostitution and the making of alcohol in order to make a living that supports their families. These women create amazing beaded necklaces that are sold through Katie's ministry. On top of all of these ways of outreach, Katie has 13 adopted Ugandan daughters. All at the age of 23. At first I was so amazed that I wanted to honor her and pat her on the back for giving up her comfortable life and living in filth in order to spread the name of Jesus to hopeless and dying people. But remember Romans 12? "This is your spiritual act of worship."

I am so thankful for the timing in which Katie's story came into my life. It is such a beautiful picture of Romans 12:1-2 and allows me to see exactly what Paul is saying. Does this mean that everyone should up and move to Uganda? I don't think it does. Paul tells us to say "yes,", to be transformed, and to be renewed. THEN, we will know what God's will is for our specific lives and what it is that He is calling us to do as our "spiritual act of worship."

I don't have a clue what God is going to ask me to do in my life. The idea of giving everything away and moving to minister to the "least of these" is something that intrigues me more than ever. Taking children in as my own and showing them the love that Christ has shown me is a deep desire. Many of you know how deeply Nathan and I feel called to adoption and we are praying even now for God's direction in that. We don't know when, from where, or how it will happen, but we are praying for our future in bringing home children and teaching them about the Hope that can be theirs. I am so eager to jump right into that, but I am also eager to be obedient right now, right where He has us. I praise God for the blessing of being a wife. I praise God for the opportunity to serve at First Baptist. I praise God for the opportunity to walk into a classroom full of 22 children every day and teach them and love on them. This is where God has me. This is where I desire to live out my "spiritual act of worship." 

Where is your "spiritual act of worship" being lived out? Wherever it is, whatever you're doing, whoever you're surrounded by: be transformed, be renewed, and live out your life as worship unto The One who is above all. 

To find out more information about Katie Davis' ministry in Uganda visit:

Katie's Blog

Amazima Ministries