Blessings of Finding Home Sweet Home

Believe it or not, I am still alive. My blog would tell the world that I disappeared. However, life has taken over and kept me quite busy this semester! I have been student teaching in a Kindergarten class since January and have loved the experience! The kids in my class are joys to see every day and have made sure to keep me energized! On top of student teaching, we have been planning for the wedding, which is June 18th--2 months from yesterday! I cannot believe how fast time has gone by! We are so excited and are right in the middle of all of the major planning for life after the wedding!

For the past month or so, we have been praying very diligently about where God wants us to be after we are married. Nathan is originally from Oklahoma and I am from Conway. We both love both places and consider them both home, to be honest. I will be graduating here in two and a half weeks and, Lord willing, will be teaching in the fall. Nathan will still have a little bit of school left, but is planning on going into ministry wherever God leads. Though he still has some school left to finish, we have spent the last month knowing that I would not be tied here and that moving to Oklahoma to serve in ministry could be a possibility. We both love his home church there and love the people and really have a heart for what God is doing in that area. At the same time, we know that it would be wise for Nathan to finish school here. All of our pros and cons have weighed back and forth and we have prayed that God would reveal to us where HE wants us to be, not where WE want to be. I was getting to the point of worrying because time is ticking away and we still were even sure what state we would be living in after we were married. Thankfully, God began stirring our hearts last week and helping us see a small glimpse of His plan for us. He gave us a peace and a sense of guidance that for right now, we need to be in Conway. Nathan will finish school and I am hoping to be teaching in this area in the fall.

So after making this very big decision, we began looking at houses again. We had started looking at houses last month, but God closed a few doors and showed us that we needed to keep looking. The funny thing is, we didn't look for very long! We spent all afternoon yesterday driving around to every neighborhood that we could possibly think of to find a house to call home. We saw a few that were possibilities, but at the end of our search, we found the cutest, most perfect house for us. It was For Sale By Owner, so Nathan called the number to get information about it. The guy answered and informed Nathan that he was actually walking some flyers out and that we were welcome to grab one. As we talked to him, he told us that we could come in and look around if we wanted to. I was thrilled!! We walked in and I instantly knew that this could very well be home. We looked around and talked to the couple for a little while and then decided that we needed a second opinion! As first time homebuyers, we don't know a whole lot about the process, so my parents are teaching us and guiding us along the way! Mom came right over and she loved it too! So, the only one left was dad. We went home and had dinner and then went back to look at the house a third time! This couple was so sweet to allow us to just take over their night! We ended to visit agreeing to pray about the decision and be in touch soon.

Now, I have crazy dreams. I don't know why, but I am known for having the weirdest dreams. However, last night my dreams weren't weird at all! They were wonderful dreams about the house! I woke up so excited about it! On my way to school, I stopped by CBC and left Nathan a note on his truck that said: "I think this might just be the one..." We both knew that it was perfect and we felt a peace that we were ready to move forward! So, this evening, we went back over with my parents, took a final walk through, and made an offer. I know this sounds extremely fast and rushed, but we are on a bit of a short time schedule. With getting married in 2 months, we have less than 8 weeks for all of the paperwork and closing procedures to go through. So, finding the perfect house with such a short time frame was such a blessing and we could not pass it up! The couple was on board with our offer and accepted it right away!

Here are a few pictures of our soon to be home!

My dad was helping us check everything out!

This is the entry way, as you walk in the front door!

View of the living room from the kitchen.

The Kitchen!

Dining area attached to the kitchen!

View from the back of the dining area.

The Backyard!

View of the back of the house!

Nathan signing our Offer Agreement! We felt so grown up :)

The owner even let us take the For Sale sign down for him :)

More pictures to come in the upcoming months! We will be closing on the house June 2! Just enough time to get everything moved in before the wedding! We are so excited about this new chapter in life. It is so exciting to see how God is just answering prayers, closing doors, opening doors, and leading us all along the way! We can't wait to move in and make it our own after the big day in June!

Save The Date!

Wedding plans are in full motion! Mom and I have been trying to get as much done before school starts as we can and I think we have made great progress! One of the biggest tasks, to me, was getting the Save The Date cards mailed out before I went back to school. So, on Wednesday afternoon, Nathan and I went to Lifeword to meet Nick Jacobsen. Nick is so creative and helpful with pictures and ideas, so he helped us, the non-creative ones, come up with a cool idea! We had originally planned on going to the rooftop of Michael Angelo's at sunset. However, that day just happened to be one of the coldest days all week! I was kind of stressing, not really sure what we were going to do. But of course, Nick saved the day! The idea was to set the date and time on Nathan's iphone to be for June 18th at 1:00, like our actual Wedding Date. Then we sent a message to Nathan's phone with the other info! Nick set us up next to a really pretty, random red wall at Lifeword and took some really awesome shots of Nathan and I blurred out and the iphone up close and in focus. I absolutely loved them!!

Nick got them all set up so quickly and Mom and Dad got them printed and we were ready to get them all stuffed, sealed, addressed, stamped, and in the mail! Nathan and I spent all day Saturday stuffing envelopes, putting address labels on them, and I just finished sealing them! So tomorrow, they go out in the mail! I'm just so excited to be sending out the first of the invitations! Here are a few photos from our day!

Nathan was so very helpful and so willing to do what he could, even after being sick this week! I am so blessed that he didn't mind helping me stuff them all!

We had an assembly line system going on! Thankfully, we work well together :)

Mom and Dad napped while we worked!

Almost done!

We had a wonderful weekend. Nathan and I were able to spend the whole weekend together, talking about the wedding and married life! It was a huge blessing and much needed because of the busy, stressful semester that is ahead. I start student teaching on Tuesday and I know that it will be very busy and leave little time to hang out like normal. I am so very excited about student teaching, but I do realize how different the next 4 months will be compared to what I have been used to! I'm sure there will be many updates about how it goes! If you think about it, pray for me this week during my first week with the kids! I want to impact them and leave a mark on their lives, while learning all I can about being the greatest teacher I can be.

Forgetting God

The week before Christmas, God laid something on my heart that really convicted me more than anything has lately. I was in a really weird state of mind, kind of going through the motions and feeling distant in a lot of ways, but especially distant from God. This was so odd to me because the past month had been the most amazing month of my life: I got engaged, Nathan and I both celebrated birthdays, I finished up school very successfully, I was able to spend a whole lot of time with my family, I was becoming even more aware of how surrounded I was by people who cared about me, and it was Christmastime. I had been completely surrounded by blessings and gifts of joy, yet I felt distant and confused as to why I was so withdrawn from God, why I wasn't spending time in His Word like I usually do, why I didn't feel His presence the way I thought I should. There was no reason not to--life was moving forward with wedding plans and anticipation of becoming a wife and planning my dream wedding and my dream life with my best friend. However, my spiritual life could easily be evaluated by looking through my journal and seeing that I had not written in it in 17 days. Now, I am a journaler. I have a journal for everything and usually keep 3 or 4 going at a time. I don't like to miss out on anything because I always want to remember everything. So to see that I had not written in 17 days was a very big deal. I sat and looked at that journal and wondered what was going on with me. God had blessed me immeasurably more than I could have ever asked or imagined. And then it hit me: What have I done in return?

I sat and thought about myself for a few minutes. My focus over that past month had been given to other things. I had glanced away from God and taken a more me-centered focus. But this thought puzzled me even more: How could I feel so far away from God when He was obviously right in the middle of my life, orchestrating the most beautiful days I've ever had. Of course, moments of confusion and discouragement like these tend to make us look at our salvation and question where we stand. I know without a shadow of a doubt that these are moments when Satan attempts to weazle his way in and feed us lies. I quickly thanked God that He had indeed saved me and forgiven me for my failures, even the failures I was experiencing at that very moment. However, this didn't answer my questions of why I was standing where I was. I felt awkward as I attempted to ask God and seek out His answers. Awkward like the awkwardness between two friends who haven't talked in a while. I wasn't sure if God was ok with me talking to Him or if I even deserved to be spending time with Him. But, I knew in my heart that nothing could separate me from Him. He looks at me through blood-stained eyes to see a white as snow, innocent girl. So, despite my hesitance, I dove right in and spent the most refreshing 2 hours with Him. This 2 hours began with a text message from a very inspirational girl from our youth group.

Earlier in the night Katie Hansen had sent me a nightly verse and piece of encouragement. I had gotten busy and never sat down to read it. So as I pulled my Bible and Journal out, I opened her God-ordained message that included the following words of wisdom:

"When I fed them, they were satisfied; when they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me." Hosea 13:6...."Francis Chan said, ' It's easy to fill ourselves up with other things and then give God whatever is left.' He is so right! Don't give God the scraps!"

I couldn't have been more thankful for Katie and the way God was speaking to her heart and through her heart in that moment. He gave her those words and knew that she would not keep them to herself, but share them so that those closest to her would not forget the Lord. In that one verse, in that one quote, in that one piece of encouragement from Katie, God answered prayers for understanding that I hadn't even muttered, myself. I finally understood what I had been doing: I had been so wrapped up in the good things going on and the good things I was doing that I had forgotten God. My Creator, Savior, and Redeemer...I had forgotten Him. Now, don't get me wrong, all of the blessings and joys I was experiencing were and still are amazing gifts that I cherish! I simply wasn't looking at the giver of those Gifts. I began to understand that He given me exactly what I wanted and needed and I was satisfied. But finding satisfaction brought pride as I consciously or sub-consciously began relying on myself for things I couldn't do. The good things, the blessings, the joys made me appear to not need Him. And I forgot Him. This is why it had been so easy for me to fill myself with other things and spend my time doing everything I wanted, leaving little to no time or relationship for Him. I had been giving Him my lowest of low scraps.

I began exploring that verse from Hosea and ended up in Deuteronomy where similar words were spoken:

"When the Lord your God brings you into the land He swore to your fathers, 

to Abraham, Isaac and jacob, to give you--a land with large, 

flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good 

things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and 

vineyards and olive groves you did not plant--then when you eat 

and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who 

brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery." 

--Deuteronomy 6:10-12

God had given me provision after provision that I did not plant, create or plan. I had had nothing to do with providing myself with all of these sources of joy. It had been all God. However, I wasn't prepared when they came and I forgot about Him. I forgot to give all of the praise and the focus to Him. I forgot to keep relying on Him even in the most wonderful times. No matter how good those days were or how full of joys and blessings I was, I still needed Him. Even at my greatest, I am still weak and hopeless without Him. 

The reminders continued as I read on into Deuteronomy 8 where many of the same things were said plus more. And that specific chapter was even entitled "Do Not Forget the Lord." In this section, God talks about how He had lead His people through all things and provided for them and revealed to them that "man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord (8:3)." I do not live on human means alone, but on every one of His words. This is what He intended: for me to follow Him and rely on Him entirely, without holding back. Even on the good days. And then He continued by telling me that I should obey His commands and revere Him because He is carrying me to a good land and is ready to provide all that I need. He warns me in these verses to praise Him for all the good He has done or else I will take ownership of the good, forget Him, replace Him with other things, and experience my own destruction. And I sure do believe Him in this and know that if He felt like I needed to learn this more concretely, He would step in and make it happen. 

So my prayer since that day has been that God would help me to fix my eyes on Him and pull me close to Him as I turn from my cluttered focus and center in on Him. I pray that I will look to Him always as good things come because He has told me that all good things come from Him. And even when life is more full than ever, even when I feel better than I ever have, I still need Him. I have come to realize that just like many other convictions I feel, it is a choice I have to make each morning as I wake up to turn to Him FIRST. That is a choice I want to make every day so that day by day I can be more like Him, looking to Him and not forgetting Him.

Cricut This and Cricut That!

So for Christmas, Santa brought me a Cricut! I was so very excited because I have heard so many wonderful things about them and I love to make cards and scrapbook when I have time. I had also heard that they are great to have as a teacher because of all of the sizes and shapes they can create! So a few days after Christmas, I had to organize and clean out my entire room just to make room for the fun new addition to my room. As I was organizing and rearranging, I came to the realization that I was going to need to get rid of some stuff before I get married or Nathan won't be able to bring anything with him! Anyways, I'm just getting started with using the Cricut, so I haven't gotten too creative yet, but I'm so excited about my beginning creations that I had to share! I've been making divider pages for my Wedding Planning Binder and here are a few! Kind of simple, but I'm still excited about them :)

Here is my cute little set-up that was added to house the Cricut. It also helped with my book collection!

This actually wasn't made with the Cricut, but it's the front of my Wedding Planning Binder!

This one is probably one of my favorites!

A few of them have Scrapbook Stickers. I almost like the ones without better!

Sadly, this is my least favorite page. Too many stickers and not enough Cricut magic!

I still have a few more divider pages to make, but this is what I have so far! This binder has been such a help as we've been planning the wedding! I am such an organized, OCD freak it's not even funny! I have to have things all in place, so this has been wonderful. Mom and I have been able to get a lot of planning done this week and only have a few more things to do for now. Nathan FINALLY comes back to Conway tomorrow, so I have a list of things for us to do this week before school starts back! Everything is coming together very well so far :)

A New Year, A New Chance

I FINALLY made time to make a blog! I've been wanting to do this since the fall, but have yet to have time to start one. I love the idea of blogging and sharing life with others, encouraging others, and being encouraged, myself. I look forward to sharing life with the world as many new and exciting days approach!

I struggled as to what my first post should be about. I know many people are writing about the New Year and all that could be with this new beginning, but I had my own revelation on New Years Eve and feel like God laid this on my heart.

This week begins the first week of a brand new year with many new opportunities and chances. We've always given these first few days of the year a very important meaning and purpose: it's when many people attempt to start over, whether that be financially, relationally, health wise, in their efforts or in any way that they did not do well in the year before. I think it's a rather exciting concept--what's better than starting with a clean slate? The only problem with this first week of the year and all its newness is that within the first month, or even within that first week, our aspirations fade away and we continue living the way we did the year before. Maybe this is because we create a list of resolutions, or goals, that we really don't think are possible to achieve. Maybe it's because we are lazy. Maybe it's because we know that a lot of effort and sacrifice will need to be put forth in order to actually follow through. Maybe it's because we stop striving for the best and settle for just good. Maybe it's because we lack in faith and faithfulness. For me, I think it's all of these things. I've actually always been a skeptic of new years resolutions because they never seem to last, so why would I even try? However, I have set a few in the past and I see my problem to be unfaithfulness. I get tired of putting forth the effort and suffering the discomfort of sacrifice.

This year seems to be a little bit different for me. 2011 will be a huge year full of changes that will need goals and aspirations to strive for if I want to be faithful and use all that God has given me to honor Him and radiate Him in all I do. This year, God will be giving me brand new responsibilities, entrusting me with new opportunities to serve Him, to share Him with the world, to learn from Him, to become more like Him, and to grow to love Him and depend on Him more than ever. With these new responsibilities and blessed opportunities, there will be challenges and chances to fail.

In 2011, I will experience my final preparation to be a teacher by student teaching in a Kindergarten class. This is it. My last chance to soak in as much as I can before I walk into my own classroom. In May, I will graduate college and become a "grown up." On June 18, I will marry my best friend and become a wife. In August, Lord willing, I will start my very first grown up job. I will walk into a classroom of 20 something kids who will become my very own kids for 9 months. Kids from all different backgrounds, I'm sure. Kids who have wonderful lives. And kids who have nothing. And they will be in my hands. Talk about new roles in my life!

Looking at all that is to come, I am very tempted to sit in fear and think of all that could go wrong and all the ways I could mess up and misuse these gifts that God is granting me and doors that He is opening for me. But I don't want to fall victim to fear. I don't want to look at the 363 days ahead of me and see my measly, poor, weak self: I want to see HIS strength and HIS desires for me and plans to hold me and guide me through all of the newness. I want to set goals for myself that will prepare me for what He will be accomplishing in my life this next year. I want to turn away from my habits of unfaithfulness and run towards faithful service of the One who redeems my soul each and every day. The One who has plans for my prosperity and hope and future. I want to spend this new year in 2011 striving towards excellence so that God's gifts are not wasted, so that His name would be spread and honored and so that I may know Him in a much greater way!

So with these hopes that have sprung up for the year, I made some goals for myself. Goals that I will pray over every day and allow God to use to make less of me and more of Him. So here are just a few of them:

1. Don't expect to do it all at once, don't expect to fail, and remember that progress is made one day at a time. Anything of worth must be cultivated.

2. Wake up each morning acknowledging that God is God and choose to be His.

3. Pray.

4. Pray for my Nathan, my husband-to-be, as much as possible.

5. Remember that school, work, and busyness are good things, but shouldn't cloud my views of friendships and others.

6. Face each school day knowing that I am influencing a child's future and preparing them for life. Love them. Be patient with them. And minister to them will all I have.

7. Pray.

8. Memorize Scripture.

9. Use my mouth for good, not as a weapon for destruction.

10. Pray.

I cannot even describe my excitement for all that is to come this year! Here's to a beautiful beginning :)