After teaching for 6 months, I am realizing that God probably put me in a classroom full of 22 six and seven year olds because He knew I needed to learn some very basic lessons within the complexity level of First Grade. I suppose I wasn't made to learn lessons in more mature settings. However, since Jesus desired for us to grow more like children in our faith, I'll go with it!
I continue to learn new things from my 22 kiddos every day. These lessons aren't always fun to learn at the time, however. My patience and nerves are usually shot by the end. Most of these life lessons come in the forms of arguments between kids. Sometimes I get so frustrated when I have to remind them of the same things over and over. I want to ask them, "Don't you get this??" But it sure is funny when the moment comes and I realize that my Teacher would probably like to look at me and say, "Don't you get this??" Thankfully, in God's sovereignty, He has a plan for my slip-ups and sees beyond my moment of failure.
All week we have experienced a reoccurring theme in our classroom. Someone does something wrong and that someone blames someone else for making that someone do it. This is a popular happening with six and seven year olds. Excuses go flying and everyone is "blameless." One of my little boys struggled with this all week. Early in the week he got in trouble for continuously talking while I was trying to teach. I had warned him several times and then finally had to have him and the boy he was talking to power down for not changing their behaviors. The main little boy was distraught over this and just kept telling me, "He was talking to me! He was making me talk!" I quickly had to ask him (as gracefully as possible), "Does he control your lips? Does me make your lips move?" Of course the answer was obvious. I then had to explain to him that no one can make him do anything. He has to make the choice to do what he knows is right even when someone else is tempting him to do what is wrong.
Later in the day this same little boy ran into another situation that was very similar to his talking episode. We were walking down the hall when I turned around to see him hit a girl in the head with a paper book. Now, I realize it is paper. However, it made a loud pop and looked a little painful. The girl was fine, but I was appalled. I could not believe that he was continuing in his poor choices and even hitting a girl. I pulled him aside to discuss the matter and his first words were, "She hit me first! It wasn't my fault!"It seemed like I just could not get it through to him that blaming someone else for his actions wasn't going to cut it. I could not get through to him that he chooses whether he is going to respond positively or negatively to a bad situation.
Of course God was using that little boy to teach me more than using me to teach him as I figured out Wednesday night. That afternoon had been full of energetic kids who desperately needed to let all of their energy out, but couldn't because of the downpour of rain. On top of the high energy levels, I had a lot of work and preparation to do for several big observations coming up soon. I didn't leave work until 6:15, I was starving, and had to go straight to the church to be on time for youth. I was so exhausted that I honestly felt like just going home. However, I knew I could use the encouragement of fellowship and the Word to help my bad mood that had developed throughout the afternoon. Instead, my bad mood escalated when I got mad at Nathan for something so little that just happened to slip into the radar of my negativity. I'm not the sweetest person when I get mad, so I was very rude and blamed my frustrations on Nathan. I told him as much later that night and thankfully he is much wiser than me. He responded in the most humble and honest way, which almost made me more mad! That he could respond to my bad choices of anger with humility and kindness blew my mind.
Later my mind flew back to my guilty little boy from school. My heart sank. I was just like this six year old boy. I had made the choice to be in a bad mood and take it out on Nathan. I tried to blame my poor behavior on him, when really I had made the choice to be in a bad mood. I had allowed the less desirable moments of the day bombard my attitude. There was no one else to blame but myself. I realized that, just like I had told my student the day before, no one makes my lips move. No one makes my face create awful looks. No one makes my attitude plummet. I do. I choose how I will respond. Simple as that.
How quick are we to blame others for our mistakes or our awful attitudes? How often do we fail to take responsibility for our poor words, attitudes, and actions? How quick are we to point the finger to get it away from ourselves? No one makes us do anything. The choice is ours.
"This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life..." Deuteronomy 30:19
